Simon’s Eurovision FAQ

Q: Uh, Simon — what is this Eurovision you’re inviting me to watch?

A: It’s a European song competition.

Q: Oh, so it’s like The Voice?

A: Yeah. Kinda. I mean, not really.

Q: Alright. What’s the music like?

A: Here’s how this year’s host would describe it.

Q: Uh, sure. So, who’s competing?

A: Representatives of most European countries. Also, Australia.

Q: Australia?

A: Yeah.

Q: What about the US?

A: Nope.

Q: Canada?

A: Also no. But Celine Dion did win Eurovision in 1988, for Switzerland.

Q: Do I need to pick a country?

A: Yes.

Q: But I’m not European!

A: Well, this is your chance to feel European for a day. How about Estonia with “(Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi“?

Q: That’s a mouthful!

A: Or Finland with “No Rules!

Q: WTF, Simon. Are all entries this weird?

A: Oh, no. Most are much worse!